3 Great Loves

We Italians get three great loves in life. This may explain much.

Surrounded by brick and concrete. The smell of carbureted gasoline, exhaust fumes, and fresh food hangs in the air. A well-dressed man, balding with slicked back hair, who, in any other part of the country, you would assume was a used car salesman. Here, though, he is king of his own fiefdom. He makes decisions on who lives and dies on this block. He mentors a young man whom he sees as having potential. The youngman started off as a hard-headed child who learned the code of the streets from his friends and family. He witnessed a murder over a parking spot, and the cops questioned him, but he refused to give up the perpetrator. The child earns extra money bringing drinks and smokes to the local men while they play craps and shoot pool in the bar next to his house.

Today, though, this youngman asks his mentor about women. The mentor tells his pupil that Italians get three great loves in their life. He explains how to test the women to ensure they are not selfish. He tells the young man, “Lock both doors when you get out of the car. When she comes out, you open her door and let her in. You walk around the back and look through the rear window, and if she doesn’t unlock the door for you, dump her right there. Because she is a selfish pig and deserves no more of your time.”

This is only possible for a man to turn away a woman in this scene set in the 1950s because of the future understanding that he will be granted 3 loves in his life.

This, of course, is the premise of a Bronx Tale. A 1990s movie starring Chaz Palmierri and Robert Deniro. Joe Pesci was in it just for good measure.

I was having a conversation with one of my friends tonight, and the question of women came up, as it often does among men when they talk. Hell often is an understatement; we speak of women as if we are children at Jurassic Park, seeing dinosaurs for the first time and guessing at what they are called every time one chimes up in the background of our day.

Now he and I have very different ideas of what a relationship is and should look like. He is around my age, so we got to see the last of the real relationships. Our grandparents both stayed together till they died. I think my nona and grandfather stayed together for 60 years. But his parents stayed together for a long while, and mine split when I was 5. His have since divorced, and his father died. My parents still live, but haven’t been together since I was very young, so I never got to see a working relationship up close.

My mother never remarried, and I am not sure about him.

But his father was a billy bad ass guy who would break a man’s jaw over anything. But his mother cheated on him, and he broke himself.

Now I am not going to sit here and claim that I have always been the made of stone human I have become. This took a few heartbreaks. But very early, I realized the idea of having a housewife type who just supported you so you could go grind and feed the family has long since been dead.

My father often gets upset with me when a woman is around, and I tell her to “Do the dishes,” or “Make me food.” He tells them, “They shouldn’t be forced to serve a man.”

This attitude from a man who had a mother who, I swear to God, was an angel who never drove or had a job and raised 14 kids, then adopted one. My take may be biased; I was the favorite of 50 grandkids.

I myself, knowing the danger of being in a basket with a cobra and having no escape hatch, and in particular no hatch for the cobra to escape out of, encourage my females to have resources and places to go. This has left me very commitmentphobic if I am being honest, but I have learned it’s better not to trap a woman; I got the fang marks where the lessons were learned.

Boredom and responsibility are cancer to a woman. Idle hands and such. But we have all seen it at the jobs we have worked, when we have free time to talk, what do we do? We talk shit about the things we have in common. This is an eternal truth we have yet to come to grips with. In Rome, Greece, and even Babylon, women rejected the responsibility of having children once they got the chance to have a little leisure time and some freedom.

I was outside with the tow truck the other day, and my girl was there. I handed her a couple of bananas I bought at the store and helped the tow truck driver load up my truck. I looked back at her and didn’t see the bananas and asked, “If those were bananas in her pocket or if she was just happy to see me?”She cracked, “Well, this is the only way I am gonna have something in my pocket!”

I let it slide for a moment. I finished up with the truck and did something, then was reminded of it and told her, “If you ever say some shit like that in front of anyone again, we are done! Capice?”

See, I don’t crack on her in front of anyone else. I would never insult her as a person to make myself feel better or belittle her in front of others. This is a losing game. But this is normal behavior among women in our society.

It is a trope of a woman breaking down the big bad man and bringing him down a peg. It is Peg Bundy breaking down Al, who is grinding his ass off to keep their family above water, while she sits on the couch and does nothing.

Since the beginning of our society, the egalitarian nature has caused mistrust between those who have and those who don’t. Detoqueville spoke on this in his democracy in America from 1832.

“I do not know if the people of the United States would vote for superior men if they ran for office, but there can be no doubt that such men do not run.”
“Americans are so enamored of equality, they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom.”

Plato has weighed in.

These, then, will be some of the features of democracy... it will be, in all likelihood, an agreeable, lawless, parti-colored commonwealth, dealing with all alike on a footing of equality, whether they be really equal or not.

The premise is that people being equal who are not is ultimately making those who are weaker or simpler rise up while chaining down those who are stronger or smarter. I am not claiming women are weaker or simpler…. Yes, yes, I am, but I have a good reason, it is because they are. There is a reason why chess has male and female leagues. Women's sports are a good idea, get nothing misunderstood, athletics are great for everyone. But pretending a woman is the same as a man or even could compete is fucking stupid. This is kind of the problem with this thinking: if a woman could compete, would you even want her?

It is the old adage of that great philosopher, Sir Dr. Ian Malcolm, “We keep asking if they could do something when we should be thinking if we should do something.”

I wish philosophy wasn’t so garbage like if we could just burn all the philosophy books and start over from scratch. Nietzsche is a complete bag of human refuse who drove himself mad and died alone. Kant is hot garbage, oh, there is the phenomenon and the nomenon, shut up. All this garbage and nothing to deal with what humans want or need as a species or an animal. How about hey, you need a community, some food made of other animals, and some plants. Hey, look, there's a sunset. Go sit down by the tree and watch it, it’s awesome. Hey, go swimming and walk every day. Stop being fucking fat. Your offspring and their offspring are gonna need resources, don’t use them all before they get here. Hey, polluted water is not safe to drink. How about you don’t pollute the fucking water?

We need philosophy so badly, and these retards are incapable of actually being philosophers. It’s all about how I become an Ubermensch. How about how you become a part of a lineage?

Anyway, this is the problem at the end of the day. The relationships we are looking for as men are about lineage and long-term processes that we are completely divorced from. Having children and having a relationship means nothing if you don’t have a piece of land to write the history into. Humans live on the earth and are part of it in the same way that polar bears are. You don’t find polar bears in Africa. They are found in the Arctic. They are from a place and an environment as we are. They have a purpose there. We have a purpose here. We are from a place and should be a part of it and have a rite to it. As in it is our birthrite to claim a piece of land and raise a family. If we choose not to participate in the economy and not become the world's most evil human, I feel like that should be encouraged.

Anyway, thank you all for contributing to my GoFundMe. We hit 3800 at the time of this writing. This community is awesome. I swear I have never seen charity like this. I love you all, thank you so much.